like a walk along the shore

how do you make this permanently friends only?

i haven't updated in a week. i think it's a record.

i love intellectual conversations about the future. about the world ending, about growing up and having families and such. it makes me really want to get a move on with my life, go to college, find mr. right, and raise my children.

...but then there's times when i just want things to go back to the way things were last year. yesterday i had what i like to call post-OOTI syndrome, for those of you who remember what that is. and it was terrible.

i've decided i really don't like the whole 'freshman' status. i was the epitome of a freshman, but last year i still felt like one and i know the actual freshmen didn't feel anything like what being a freshman really is. i sort of resent that, because to an extent everyone needs to be a freshman, and it's kind of like i was one for two years instead of the obligatory one... although this year's frosh are definitely very froshy. i still remember how a few of them volunteered to wash my brushes during the first setbuilding.




...this has no relevance to my life right now.

-nicole's JEWISH!
-becca alves, you have once again succeeded in making my life a little more interesting.
-i will once again be wearing my spandex dance pants to boston on tuesday, and life cannot get any better.
-speaking of tuesday, rehearsal off-book is going to make me throw up.
-just me and britt (in the context of these serious-ish bullets, this one doesn't belong, but i had to throw it in anyway).

in other words, l'shana tova and goodnight. 89 days until i learn to ski with miss goodnough, my instructor.

i'm in the mood to summarize my life.

yesterday:
- projected, sewed, painted.
- picked out the colors of the lights for when i write, direct, and star in my one-person musical.
- discovered that the radio in the music room doesn't get 88.9.
- had a frappuchino.
- watched tuck everlasting.

today:
- did spanish homework for FOUR FUCKING HOURS.
- wrote a crappy essay.

my god i hate sundays. still to come: sarah learns about early 20th century immigration and attempts to memorize los adjetivos.

p.s. nicole don't look behind you. there's some creepy guy wearing all yellow.

time for a brief analysis on my life:

- i still like school.
- i'm getting sick of children of eden.
- i'm practically failing out of spanish already.
- dance is AMAZING this year. i miss all of last year's seniors so much and i think company will never be the same again, but ballet is so good. that's right, i said it. i love ballet.
- AMY GOODNOUGH I MISS YOU. WE NEED TO TALK MORE.
- on that note, 99 days.
- it would have been really awesome to go to france.
- on that note, a eurotrip senior year is SO happening.
- rehearsal was good yesterday, despite mac's decision to make me an alto. now i'm actually excited for this show.
- i know 72 elements and their abbreviations.


...and life is good :)

jobo850: i got a playboy calendar
jobo850: at collegefest they were handing them out for free

if you were anywhere near emma and i during rehearsal today, you'll be wanting an explanation as to why we were flipping out and going insane. hanna too, but her breakdown was not nearly as obvious as mine or emma's.

we want to go back to freshman year.

well, at least for some things. we really miss seussical. our inner musicians really miss 6-part harmonies. drood just doesn't do it.


little notes:
amy - i really miss talking to you. i need to talk to you. now.
spitzer - i (and some others, to be named at a later date) will be coming to brigadoon. just so you know.
emma - FATHER!
for anyone who absolutely loves children of eden - when cain says "well then stay here forever if that's how you want to live" in a ring of stones, it totally changes the tonality and the feel of the song and it's FABULOUS (this is me obsessing over the side of musicals that nobody else except emma obsesses over. sometimes it's embarassing. i'm not sure why this is going on livejournal).

i need to stop obsessing over musicals. it's making me depressed over the 3-part drood harmonies.

i don't know. i miss a lot about last year. this year is going to take a lot of getting used to and i don't want to have to get used to it.


(and yes, i do hate the new facebook layout.)

i'm really happy right now.

today was really nice, just sitting outside (making waffles, lol) and talking. it's probably the last stress-free day i'll have until next summer.

itsawanditsagforwegee... martini, please.

i'm even excited for school. i'm such a tool. but right now i really want to go to class and learn stuff, and go to select and start singing, and go to rehearsal and start learning the music. i'm just all-around excited for pretty much everything.


except... iwbb. tg, bgmbb.



oh, and children of eden is the best thing ever (i really don't say that enough). i love cain. you aren't supposed to love cain, seeing as how he's rather evil. oh well.

bulleted, because my mind won't work right now.

school:

- i like all my classes and all my teachers. 

- i'd rather have more friends in math, but i suppose once nazeela gets back from india then it will be fine. besides, i like mr. fish and how he opened his first-day speech with "you'll get homework sometimes." 

- i also like how we speak entirely in spanish during spanish class. i'm sure i'll hate it when radler calls on me, but i'm amazed with how much i can understand when she talks. 

- cho is hilarious. occasionally he closes his eyes and makes fists and says things like "chemistry is FANTASTIC" all passionately. it's very funny.

- jolicoeur already likes me because she used to go to hearts and stars when my mom worked there and my brother went to preschool with her son. and she seems relatively easy, which is good.

- and then there's banno. SO. GOOD. his class is so interesting. although we haven't learned anything history-related yet... we spent all of long period on thursday talking about stereotypes and reading dr. seuss. talk about a fantastic class.

other:

- i feel really unsatisfied. i don't know why.

- going back to school is really nice. it's easy for the first week or so, but there's stuff to do and it still makes free time seem more valuable.

- i have a feeling that once dance starts and once rehearsals are every day and once i start getting tons of homework, i'm going to be busier than ever. but i don't really care. i function better that way; last year first term was my best term.

- tanya's decided to move away from all her rap/beyonce-ish music and listen to my old nsync cd. i nearly cried when she told me bye bye bye was her new favorite song. thank god she's not listening to so much destiny's child now.

- i have a shopping problem. i go to the mall for a few specific things and then come home with... well... more than a few specific things. all of this uncontrolable wardrobe increasion isn't doing great things to my bank account.


ok. i'm done. that was boring. more people should post pictures of their dorm rooms. i find them very interesting.

and i know at this time tomorrow i'll be praying for summer again and thinking "only 179 more days to go..." but for now, i'm ready for summer to be over. 

i've had an incredible, life-changing summer. i realized that when we were talking about vacation and caribbean resorts... i went to grenada and lived how they lived, not how tourists in resorts live. it wasn't relaxing, but it was enjoyable and all the new experiences gave me a new outlook that i can't really describe. and while i do regret my choice to not go on gadna, i know that the experience i had this summer was unique and genuine and i'll never forget it.

i don't really consider myself a junior. i don't think i'm mature enough, i don't consider myself old enough. and it's really weird thinking about how the incoming freshmen are going to look up to me like how i look up to last year's seniors. because regardless of how young i look or how inexperienced i am or what grades i get or what my morals are, i'll be 17 in a little over a month and that makes me pretty old, at least compared to the incoming freshmen.

i don't want this year to be different. i know it will be, entirely because the seniors won't be there and new people are coming. i guess i'm just not ready for things to change as much as they will, but it has to happen so i might as well get used to it quickly rather than moping over what it was like last year and how i wish it could be like that again. because last year was, without a doubt, my best year; maybe not academic-wise, but socially and mentally.

so this year i'm ready to actually be good at school. last year was sort of a rude awakening for me, especially with history and english. in history i learned that sometimes i actually have to put in effort and study to do well. and i'm ready to do that this year. i'm going to really concentrate on doing well, and hopefully that will happen. i don't want to get C's, and there's really no reason i should. i have fairly easy teachers in the subjects i'm not so good at, and i have harder teachers in the subjects i'm better at. with the exception of banno, of course. but i'm going to work hard. and not get any C's.


this entry is turning into more of a vow than a traditional end-of-summer reflection. but i'm listening to children of eden, and it's really inspirational and i'm promising myself that i'll do well. i owe it to myself to work hard.

maybe by the next time i update, i'll feel more like a junior.

stay tuned for my class/teacher/year overview in what will surely be my next update.


p.s. does anyone have jason robert brown's cd (wearing someone else's clothes) that i could easily borrow and copy? i want it really badly.

i was going through more elementary school stuff and i found a journal that i kept in 3rd grade. 



my favorite entry was clearly the first.

i need to search my house and find more childish writing. except now i have to go to sleep. only 2 more days of work.

today was fun.




that's all. i don't really want to go back to work tomorrow. i like freedom.

i know people don't like these, but it's time to get some stuff out that the general population of the world can't understand.

first of all... idkwigtdwts. tSfaidk, ijflicbmabtgas... ewsajatbmwl. iestgaam. sistbsgfwswsiaf. igialjoha, bidhtcwiwafbiwaacwiwaf.

second... awijwpwstmlis. iktk, bihth "s, dtbidwt" or "s, tiayfaiwytcturn." isbidmstm, bocmamlhbbfsmmiabfwop. idgi. iasdww, sdwsmatt... im, simf. sioombfbijgSSSawhs.

and finally... imbsmaihshf, widubwstbf. hishazbimhsm. ijwhtrmtm, jtkthac. igetmwhsbimmah.



(there was once a big section here about complaining about going to the beach, but it wasn't as bad as i thought (it was still pretty terrible, but at least i lived. lol.) and i decided this entry already has enough complaining and so the section that was once here is now gone.)



i guess i'm just really tired and irritable. i don't like being like this. i think this is why i need school to start. i need to be on a normal schedule, to see all my friends every single day. i love summer and all this freedom and stuff but i need to get on with my life. i'm not supposed to have enough shit to say to write abbreviated entries in the summer. it's so time to go back to school.

bottom line, imbaiawmailemtlibsauaicwfosadess. and amy, i have to talk to you. i need to hear all about camp etcetera, and when you're done with that i'm going to need a venting session.

time for a suspenseful and intriguing update on my wonderful life.

i'm actually enjoying work. if anyone goes into boston between now and next friday, come to post office square for lunch between 11:30 and 2. i can make you a pretty mean hot dog or wrap, and i can even give you soup and salad. tempting, i know.

school starts 2 weeks from wednesday. i'm sure i'll regret saying this the minute i step into school, but i'm kind of looking forward to it. i need structure in my life (as if working 9 hour days isn't enough structure), and i need to get back on my schedule. things are going to be so different this year, though. i don't know if i'm ready for that.

i still need to go shopping. if i finish cleaning my room then mother dear will take me. i think i'll go clean my room.

today was the first day of work. i wrapped platters and made cream/sugar/butter/jelly packages and worked at the hot dog stand. it was fun. i wonder if i'll still think it's fun a week from now.

it's kind of frustrating that nicole sits at a desk and does practically nothing while i'm on my feet and constantly running around for 8 hours straight, and yet she gets paid a significantly higher amount than i do.

i hope my feet don't hurt as much tomorrow. hopefully wearing more substantial sneakers will help. and hopefully i won't always be this tired. i'd like to have a life along with the whole getting paid thing.



i want to go shopping.

people should update more.

so i was driving home from cobb's corner, and you know those bumper stickers that are white ovals with black letters that say MV and DMB and stuff? well, i saw one that said JRB.

that's right. JRB. JASON ROBERT BROWN HAS A BUMPER STICKER.

i. need. that.




on another note, gadna came home. i saw swern in cobb's corner which was super amazing.

i missed amy and swern and tammy SO much. and now that they're friends with cady, we can all be friends. one big happy family :) i'm really glad they're friends with cady now, and that they didn't all forget about me while they were having the time of their lives in israel.


ook, now i have to go find me one of those JRB stickers.

these past 30 hours have been absolutely spectacular.

here's to two-story trains, to not buying tickets, to "it doesn't matter, i'll never see them again." here's to the providence place mall, to buy-one-get-one 50% off, to unnecessary wardrobe increasion. here's to fun delias shirts, to intense shoe cravings, to hilarious nordstrom matching outfits. here's to waterfire, to crowds of people, to pushing through said crowds to get food. here's to strawberry shortcake, to dell's lemonade, to walking long distances. here's to squashed car rides, to bruised tailbones. here's to mtv, to pita chips, to 'bee season.' here's to early-morning bagels, to illegal driving, to new beaters. here's to the walpole mall, to tie-dye kits, to the best smoothies on earth. here's to tie-dye parties, to spiral designs, to "let's tie-dye all of sarah's white clothing!" here's to playing with the hose, to seeing rainbows, to private beaches on the lake. here's to d.cole, to see-through shirts with brightly colored undergarments, to my dad. here's to ducky pictures, to squeaky flip flops, to "hey guys, i'm peeing!" here's to tightly rolled sleeping bags, to wet clothes, to hamburgers. here's to spending over 24 hours with the best kids ever, to permanently dyed hands, to tomorrow's shirt unveiling, to THE BEST SUMMER DAY EVER.

just a few other bullets that i couldn't put into 'here's to' form:
-nicole, you left your shorts at my house.
-harry potter's birthday is tomorrow.
-does anyone know when YJ gets back from israel?

let's just note that the last here's to entry i had was on 4/20. clearly i'm not inspired to write these entries very often.

my god that was good.

aside from cain being all nasaly and that time in the beginning when the little girl was humming 'gliding' from ragtime.

but oh my god. stephen schwartz, please father my children.

i'm home. i've been home for over 24 hours. it feels so weird.

i don't think anyone can understand the experience i've had unless you've done a putney trip.

i went into this trip not knowing anyone. i remember hugging my mom goodbye at the airport, and she said to me "it's so weird that right now you don't know anyone but in a month you'll be hugging them goodbye and crying because you don't want to leave them behind when you go home." at the time it was really hard to imagine, but that's exactly how it turned out. i missed my friends a lot while i was there. it just seemed like i left behind a tight group of best friends and threw myself into a group of 15 total strangers, and at times it seemed like that was a really stupid thing to do. except now, i see that while i'm in grenada i'll miss the people at home and while i'm at home i'll miss the people in grenada. i guess it's everyone's quirks that i miss so much... mika's "oh, snap!", laura's sarcasm, courtney's hilarious british accent, hannah's crazyness and toothlessness, neil's rhianna obsession and constant complaining, waking up to fatty's face every morning, glick's vocabulary, james's ability to be a complete shmuck... the list could go on forever.

i wasn't really a completely different person on the trip. i managed to be completely myself, while at the same time not freaking people out, while at the same time being open to trying new things. i wasn't afraid of bugs, i drank water with floaty things in it, i slept in a room the size of my bedroom with 11 sweaty girls, i didn't shower every day, i cooked dinner occasionally, i hiked to waterfalls and up mountains, i got eaten alive by mosquitoes, i learned the art of sunscreen application, i did my laundry by hand, i whipped a class of 8 year old grenadans into a smart and respectful group of kids in less than 2 weeks... and so much more i don't even know where to begin.

what's weird is that even though i was having an incredible time, i still missed a lot about home. i missed the little things. now that i'm home, i miss so much about grenada. while i was there, i missed silly things like hoodies and jeans and converse, but now that i'm home i miss being able to wear the same shirt four days in a row. i missed walking down my street with my ipod, but now i miss the insane dance parties while we cooked dinner. i missed my own music and i practically died without singing for a whole month, but now all i'm listening to is sean paul and rhianna. i missed starbucks and american fruit and stuff, but now i miss walking into grenville to get fresh mangos.

you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. that quote could never be more true.

grenada '06, we had an amazing summer together. i love every single one of you. thanks for making this the best experience i've ever had.


now that i've got that stuff out of the way, people should hurry up and get home from vacation.

oh, and pictures on facebook.

soo another update from grenada:

we've been doing a lot of work with kids at a summer camp, which is more like summer school than camp. we're teaching them a lot of math and there's this one girl who's about 13 and she doesn't know how to count. literally. it's so frustrating and my goal of the summer is to try and get her to do simple addition.

i don't like how whenever the IM works here, nobody's online. you should all restructure your lives to revolve around my unpredictable online status.

tomorrow we're working at the camp and then going hiking to the waterfall we went to last week where there were rock slides and stuff. on friday we're taking the day off and taking a tour of grenada and going to the nutmeg factory and such, and then finishing the day at the beach. saturday is a looong hike all day and then i think we're going out to dinner with the grenadan senator. sunday is a free day and i think i'm going into the capital to do some souvenier shopping. monday starts another full week of work, then saturday will probably be hiking or beaching or something. sunday will be packing all day, and our flight is early monday morning.

i'm excited to come home. i absolutely love it here, but there are so many luxuries about home that i miss. when i get home, i'm going to do laundry and eat good food and sleep in a bed and watch tv and go for a walk around the lake with my ipod, and i'm going to sing along and not care who's watching.